Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize