Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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