We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
