My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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