I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I love having hate sex.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
