my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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