so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
