It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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