am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.