end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Randomize
