PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
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my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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