im having a threesome with these popsicles
I am full of burrito and curiosity
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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