We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
