I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize