We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I yelled at your uterus for you.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
