God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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