come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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