I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
