An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
