You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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