Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize