Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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