i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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