only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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