He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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