So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
