That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
