The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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