God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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