There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
