It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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