Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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