I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Randomize
