and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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