Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
