Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
