Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I can't put those talents on a resume
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
