Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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