worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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