Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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