Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
