i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Green mimosas i think yes
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
