Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
