5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
