What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
