i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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