Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
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