I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize