i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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