Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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