meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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