And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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