i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
