very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Screwed.edu
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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