How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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