dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
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I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
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Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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